Doing this for the first time

Someone died at the hospital. What happens to them now?

The hospital keeps the person in its care, in a dedicated part of the building, until the funeral home you choose comes for them. There is no same-day deadline. A staff member will ask which funeral home to call, and "we have not chosen yet" is a normal answer they hear every week. Most hospitals can hold someone for several days while the family decides, and that pause is exactly when to make the price calls described below.

Two situations move faster. Nursing homes and assisted living buildings usually have no holding facilities, so they ask for a funeral home within hours. And when a death at home was expected, hospice guides the same step. If a death at home was not expected, call 911; the medical examiner may take the person into their care first, and the funeral home takes over when the examiner releases them.

Do I call a funeral home to pick up the body?

Yes. That one phone call is how it works everywhere in the country. Funeral homes answer at all hours, and they handle the transfer from the hospital, the nursing home, or the house. You do not need to be there for it.

The transfer is a charge, and that is normal: it appears on the itemized price list, usually described as "transfer of remains," and commonly runs a few hundred dollars. It is one of the prices you can ask about by phone before choosing a funeral home, which federal law requires them to answer. That right, and the others, are explained here.

If a funeral home already picked up the body, can I switch?

Yes. Families switch funeral homes more often than you would think, usually after seeing the first price list. The person can be transferred to a different home at any point before services happen, and the first home cannot refuse to release them.

The catch is money, not permission. The first home may charge for what it has already done: the transfer, the days of care, any paperwork filed. Switching means some of that gets paid twice. That is why the single most valuable hour in this whole process is the one spent calling two or three funeral homes for prices before anyone is picked up. The hospital can wait while you make those calls.

Where is the body kept between now and the service?

In the funeral home's care. Refrigeration is the standard method, and it is part of what a funeral home does, not a favor that depends on how quickly you make decisions. Embalming is a separate, optional choice in almost every circumstance, and no funeral home may tell you it is legally required when it is not.

This is also why there is no casket emergency. The casket is needed shortly before the first event it is used for, the visitation if there is one, otherwise the service. Taking a day or two to order one online at a fraction of showroom price holds nothing up, and the funeral home must accept it.

When does the obituary run, and where do I put it?

First, the timing: there is no deadline, and no rule says an obituary must exist at all. Most families publish once the service details are set, usually two to four days after the death, so the notice can tell people when and where to come. Publishing after the service instead, with a line like "a private burial was held," is common and completely fine.

There are three places one can run:

• The funeral home's website. Nearly every funeral home posts an obituary page as part of its services, with a guest book and the service details. Ask; it is typically included in what you are already paying. Many funeral home sites also feed Legacy.com, the large national obituary site, automatically.
• The newspaper.This is separate and paid. Papers price obituaries by length, sometimes by the line, and a long obituary with a photo can cost several hundred dollars in a metro paper. You can place it yourself by contacting the paper's obituary desk directly, or the funeral home will place it for you and pass the paper's charge through. Newspaper obituaries usually appear on Legacy.com as well, because most large papers partner with it.
• Nowhere, or later. A social media post and the funeral home page reach most of the people who need to know, at no cost. A newspaper obituary can always run afterward as a remembrance.

One cost note: the length is the bill. Writing it first, counting what matters, and trimming before submitting is the difference between a hundred dollars and four hundred. The Binder includes an obituary worksheet built around exactly that.

What of theirs do I need to find?

Five documents matter early. Everything else can surface on its own schedule.

• The original will. Probate courts want the original, not a copy. Check home files, the desk, any safe deposit box, and the lawyer who drafted it. Some states let people deposit wills with the court in advance, so the county court is worth a call if nothing turns up.
• A prepaid funeral contract. If one exists, much of what you are about to buy may already be paid for. Look before signing anything at a funeral home, and tell the funeral home a contract exists so they check their own records too.
• A cemetery deed. A plot may already be owned. Family members sometimes bought plots decades ago and mentioned it to no one.
• Life insurance policies. Policies pay whoever is named as beneficiary, usually within weeks of a claim, and can fund the funeral itself. Employers and unions sometimes carry group life insurance the family does not know about, so the employer is worth asking.
• Military discharge papers (DD-214). For anyone who served, this one page unlocks a VA burial allowance, a burial flag, and possible burial in a national cemetery at no charge for the plot.

Is there an easy way to find all their accounts?

No single directory exists, which surprises everyone the first time. But three sources together catch nearly everything:

• The mail. Statements, bills, and renewal notices arrive over the next month or two and name the institutions one by one. Forward the mail if the house will sit empty.
• The email inbox.Searching it for "statement," "bill," and "renewal" surfaces the paperless accounts the mail misses. This is a reason to keep their email running, covered below.
• Credit reports.Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion each list every open credit account. The executor or a close relative can request them and, at the same time, notify each bureau of the death. That notification flags the file so nobody opens new credit in the person's name, which is a real and common form of fraud after a death.

Months from now, one more sweep: missingmoney.com, the state unclaimed property database, catches old accounts, deposits, and refunds that never found their owner.

What do I cancel, and what should I leave on?

The instinct is to start shutting things off. Resist it for two accounts in particular:

• Keep the cellphone on for several months. Verification codes for their bank, email, and everything else go to that number. Cancel it early and you lock yourself out of the accounts you are trying to settle. The monthly bill is small insurance against that headache.
• Keep the email running. Same reason: password resets and account discovery both live there.

Everything else, cancel as it surfaces: streaming and other subscriptions, memberships, and recurring charges you find on the card statements. Notify banks and card issuers with a certified death certificate; they freeze the accounts and route what remains to the estate. Keep utilities on in any house that is occupied, or that needs heat to protect the pipes.

What government paperwork is there?

Less than you would guess, and almost none of it is urgent this week.

• Social Security. The funeral home usually reports the death for you; ask them to confirm. Afterward, the family calls Social Security about survivor benefits, including a small one-time death payment for an eligible spouse or child. One rule that catches people: Social Security is not paid for the month someone dies, so a payment that arrives for that month has to go back. Do not spend it.
• Medicare. Ends automatically once Social Security has the death. Nothing to file.
• The VA, for veterans. A burial allowance, a burial flag, and possible national cemetery burial, all claimed with the DD-214. The funeral home processes much of this routinely if you tell them the person served.
• Taxes. A final income tax return is due the following spring, filed by the executor or surviving spouse. A task for weeks from now, not days.
• Titles and deeds. Cars and the house transfer through the estate. The DMV and county recorder come later, usually with guidance from whoever handles the probate.

Do I need death certificates, and for what?

Yes, and this is the one thing to over-order. The funeral home files the death record with the state and orders certified copies for you; each copy costs roughly ten to twenty-five dollars depending on the state.

Nearly every institution insists on its own certified copy: each life insurance company, each bank, each pension or retirement plan, the DMV for vehicle titles, and the county for real estate. Photocopies are usually refused. Ten or more copies is the standard advice, and ordering them all in the first batch is easier than going back to the state later.